A Random Set of Thoughts

1 of 3: Writing True

I’ve completely lost track of time and have not been able to post anything lately. I actually have a lot of unfinished writings in my drafts but I have not been able to finish any of those. It’s not even because I live in a country with crappy internet connection and I can’t find a better internet provider nor is it because I have nothing to post about; in fact I have a lot I want to write about. It’s just that lately I’ve been slowly deteriorating and losing the will to finish what I started because as the day of my inspiration’s departure is coming, sadness is leisurely creeping up on me. I try hard not to dwell on it, finding ways to distract my over-thinking melodramatic self so I steered clear for posting anything in a while. I needed a bit of “mind resting” because writing makes you think.

The brain is a web of context and patterns, and for me, it takes too easy to get tangled. All it takes is one weird thought and the next thing I know, I’ve been staring into space contemplating about my future, my slow-paced life and the inevitable heat death of the universe for the past few hours. I spent a lot of time in my own head, sometimes too much. So I figured out ways to master the art of distraction. I filled my alone time with video games, books and TV shows. Since then I discovered that the more I filled my time, the less time I’d have to think.

Yet here I am, writing my thoughts away. I guess that’s the best thing I can do for now; to get rid of these thoughts, I have to type them away.

2 of 3: Eye Contact

We live in a world of fast-paced schedules designed to maximize efficiency and hasty emails transcribed on mobile phones. We rush from class to class and from one corporate meeting to the next. We pass by each other with our heads bent low, fingers hastily dancing across a screen. We adhere to the hands of the clock, the hours of our days, day after day, are consumed by the state of perpetual movement. We are glued to our screens, consuming media every day of our waking lives but then something odd happens, something you neither intended nor expected.

You look up from your phone and see a pair of eyes looking back at you. And in that moment on, the bombardment of media consumption will cease to exist and you’re only concern will be those pair of eyes and the stories they tell.

3 of 3: Cheesy, Sappy Things

It always feels a little weird being addressed with any term of endearment, not going to lie. For all the cheesy, sappy things I’ve given my heart and mind over to so willingly and joyously, sometimes I catch a glimpse of my cynical self cringing in the corner and vehemently trying to back up, slow down; warning, ‘you don’t even like pet names, why are you doing this to yourself?!’ like the ghost of relationships past.

But you know what I’ve found? I do like them. I do like it when you call me cute names or tell me cheesy, hilarious things because with you, I don’t feel like it’s forced or fake. Everything so far has felt so natural, and I think what caught me off guard the most is that initially it didn’t really bother me. It was only after my cynical self kicked in that I even thought about it.

So keep on with the cheesiness. Let me bask knowing that this is another one of those things that I told myself I’d never subscribe to that I am now fully, head over heels enamored with.

As so I am with you.

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